Alfonso Faustino, Jr.

Comment allez vu?

2012-01-25T12:04:00.000-08:00

I'm learning to speak French in order to prepare for my trip to Paris. It us such a beautiful and challenging language. I had my first private French lesson with my instructor. She is really accomplished in the French language, and she knows the way to break it down for me in understandable terms.

Acting Class

2012-01-24T08:08:00.000-08:00

Last night, 23-January-2012, I viewed two really good performances from my classmates. One was a scene that Salome and Michael performed -- the climax was the on-stage confrontation that Michael imposed upon Salome in getting her to get rid of her stuffed crow that she carried around like a security blanket.

The second scene I viewed was rivoting -- it was Dave and William's performance of a psychiatrist and patient. The image substitution that Dave used was real and pulled me in. William's role of the psychiatrist was hypnotic -- his ryhthm, tone, and volume were perfect -- I can see him doing many on-screen roles in this character set.

I'm working on my listening skills and getting myself out of my head in order to present the truth and reality when I am on stage. I had a moment by which it all clicked for me -- I need to work on getting more of those moments.

My classroom experiences will add to my work in my two films this year.

Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) & Small Adjustments Make Big Changes

2012-01-22T16:08:00.000-08:00

My father always told me to "think positive and be postive." At an early age, I can remember him saying these things to me; and, these things are heavily grained into my mind and heart.

Having a PMA has resulted in many growth and favorable experiences and results -- even the stuff that are not favorable turned out to be great experiences. So, I do my best to keep positive.

The other thing I learned that seems to have worked for me is small adjustments make big changes.

When I feel that the world is closing in on me, and I don't have a handle on things, I take a deep breath, and start focusing on the the small things that are in my immediate reach for me to make adjustments and changes. These small changes yield big positive changes that give me a handle on things for me to move on to my goals.

Don't get me wrong -- it ain't easy; but, whenever I start small, I gain big. Whenever I think positive, great things result.

Thanks, Goutham for reminding me of the stuff my dad always told me...I get the sense he was talking to me through you. Thanks!

Warner Brothers

2012-01-20T21:01:00.000-08:00

Well, I just got home from my film production meeting with the producers at Warner Bros., Burbank, California. I arrived on 19-January-2012, @ 1000 hours. I went to the lobby to pick up my pass to get onto the lot, and I met this wonderful woman named, Jerri. We instantly connected, and she told me all about her past life as an actress. (You can see the top of her head behind the desk in the photo above.) Throughout the conversation, I realized all the things that I had been wondering about were things that she confirmed with me through my conversation with her. God, has a great way of speaking to me through other people, and Jerri definitely provided me with information that answered many questions that I had been wondering about; I hope I did the same for her.

I feel so great and at home being on the Warner Bros. lot. I saw many well-known actors throughout my walk throughout the lot with one of the producers of the film that I'm in as an actor. We saw Ashton Kutcher, Steven Segal, some of the Bing Bang cast, and others in the commissary and trailers.

It was really cool seeing my name in a reserved parking space for me, pictured below. Great times!

So far, so good!

2012-01-18T12:24:00.000-08:00

As mentioned in my earlier BLOG, Deconstruction: Phase 1, I am hitting my objectives and goals. It is evident in my acting, which is the MAJOR area of concern for me. Through expressing myself on a day-to-day basis without internal filters (e.g., internal criticisms and internal judgements), I am speaking my mind the way I feel, and the way I choose to express myelf -- I am freely creating and expressing myself through the creative process flow.

The discipline has transferred to my acting exercises and scene studies.

When I'm on stage, I'm creating the scene and character in a free-moving creative process flow; then, I'm open to criticisms and judgements from my classmates and instructor -- the bottom line is that I'm NOT thinking during my creative process flow, "I wonder if my classmates would think I was stupid if I should add this action to the scene?" I trust my instincts, and I go with it without internal concerns, judgements, or criticisms in my creative process flow.

Now, I must keep it up and be consistent.

You're Stage Alfonso -- you're free to create!

2012-01-17T08:57:00.000-08:00

It has been years since I set foot in an acting studio. The last time I took an acting class and was in an acting studio had to have been in 1998. Fortunately or not, I had spent most of my time on the set or working my craft on my own in my house.

So, last night was my first time in 14 years that I got myself into a working acting studio -- thanks to Salome.

At first glance, it seemed small -- especially, sitting in the peanut gallery; however, once I walked on to the stage to perform my scene, I realized that it was big.

You see, when I'm on a hot-set, most of the area is marked off for me...the area is usally small, and there really isn't much room to roam around and use the entire space because the camera is set up to shoot me at a certain location and space -- go past my marks, and I'm out-of-frame.

Another thing of being on a hot-set is that it is controlled. The director creates a small area for the shooting of the scene and that's it. The area becomes smaller with all the lighting and camera equipment and people. So, that's been my environment for the past 14 years or so.

Then, last night, 16-January-2012, I'm up on stage performing my scene with all this space for me to use...did I use it? No. I concentrated just being in a small square like I'm use to when being on a hot-set.

The other thing is that being on the hot-set, I'm told the stuff to do and directed for my scene.

I asked my acting instructor to call "Action" for me, and she declined. Instead, she responded, "You perform when you are ready -- this is a studio for you to create."

Wow! I perform when I'm ready? That is so odd; and, when I executed my first line of the scene, it was really off-beat for me; because, I did not hear all the nuances that cued me for preparation and fed energy to me as an actor: the humming of the electrical equipment, the heat from the lights, the primming of my hair and make-up from the stylists, the chatter of voices over the walkie-talkies saying, "Alfonso needs to be on set after this scene," and the commands: "Quiet on the set!" "Scene x Take x (Scene Name) (marker clap)" "Camera rolling -- Action!"

To say my first line, without all this prelude was difficult for me. I kept looking to my instructor for some kind of visual cue -- none -- I had to ramp up energy on my own...tough work for me because that simple word "Action" was like a start-gun going off for a racer...no start-gun here -- the start-gun had to come from within me.

The space...I stayed in my little square and feeling really small in this big space. I felt like a little worm on a big hook! I could walk around if I wanted to, but I wasn't given permission by the director -- wait -- there was no director -- there was an acting instructor giving me the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do on the stage; because, it was my stage for a short period of time, and I had the freedom to use it any way I wanted to use it.

At first, I took a step outside my imaginery marks, and I walked around a foot or two skeptical and cautious of this new place. Cognitively, I knew of my freedom to move and use the space, but I just couldn't feel it. In time, when I realized that the director or AD wasn't going to yell, "Alfonso, you're out of frame," I felt more confident that I could venture throughout the stage without the verbal restraints coming overhead to me.

It was great...I loved that I had the freedom to do as I needed and wanted to create and breathe life into my character.

After it was all done, I felt a rush, and I wanted more, but I had to go back to the peanut gallery, learn from my experience, and view other scenes from my classmates. Viewing scenes from my classmates was really helpful to me; and, I hope they learned from viewing my scene.

So, this is a studio...my place to create...interesting.

2012 Acting Class

2012-01-11T20:41:00.000-08:00

So, here is the point the rubber meets the road. Salome said, "Let's take an acting class together." I said (pause), "Uh -- okay." So, this is our first acting class together.

I'm working on a scene called, Betrayal, by Harold Pinter. I play Jerry. Let's see if I can truly create myself in this character without the internal judgements and criticisms during my creative process flow.

I'm at a critical juncture in my acting career because I need to be 100% prepared to act in the two feature films that I'm in for 2012. I'm hoping this acting class will help me in my films and my own creative identity.

Truth

2012-01-06T10:46:00.000-08:00

For me, it is crucial to be truthful to myself then to everyone else.

I'm reading a splendid book called, The Power Of The Actor. The book is about finding the truth in the character of which the actor is suppose to play. I've not finished the book yet, but I'm learning that it is important for me to find the truth about the person that I am and accept this truth. Suppressing the truth and not addressing the truth that lies within me, will affect my ability to create a character.

It is such a wonderful find that through my own deconstruction I find a tool in a book.

Deconstruction: Phase 3

2012-01-03T10:08:00.000-08:00

Today, 3-January-2012, I have a photo shoot. In the same manner I cleared my head from internal judgements and criticisms during the actual creative process of my thoughts, as mentioned in Deconstruction: Phase 2, I must now create images through my body in this photo shoot without being inhibited and constrained by my internal criticisms and judgements during the creative process; I need to create a visual image of myself, as a model, and take criticisms and judgements from the photographer AFTER I create my images to him.

Let's see if I'm able to control my instrument and create an uninhibited array of images of myself.

Deconstruction: Phase 2

2012-01-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year.

I hope you all had a wonderful celebration. This year, was the first year, in many years, that I did not celebrate NYE in New York.

I still prefer New Year's Eve in Manhattan (NYC) -- having dinner at A Voce, overlooking Columbus Circle, and viewing the fireworks at Central Park. Here's a couple of pics from my 2011 NYE's celebration in NYC, at A Voce, table 114. For the 2013 NYE, I will return to NYC -- I feel more at home in NYC during this time of the year.

I've been diligently working on ridding myself from the internal judging and criticism from coming through to my final product during my creative process flows. It has been challenging, but I'm coming along with it. I find that it is truly tough to keep those filters out while I'm creating something -- in this case, statements of the true way I feel about something.

The creative product I am working on is expressing myself to others without the filter or concern of "what he or she might think of me while I'm creating my thoughts (e.g., final product)."

Of course, after I make my statement (e.g., final product), I must be open to the candid discussions that will take place -- I must be open to the positive and negative feedbacks of the criticisms and judgements that the recipient might make.

So, what were some of the final products I created that resulted from my glimpses of free flowing creative honest thoughts?

After my Ferrari drive, I met up with a buddy of mine to check out the progress of a special car that is being made for him. He showed me the pictures of the progress of his car -- the process of his car has been going on for five years or so, and he has put many dollars into this passion project with no end-date in sight or given by the producer of the car.

I told him, "I believe you are making a foolish mistake in having this project open-ended with no end-date of completion. I don't believe you are using your head and making good financial decisions. By the time you get this car, if you get it at all, the style and technology might not match the countless dollars you put into this project -- I am surprised by the unscrupulous way you handled this project, and I don't find the dollar value to your project worth it."

I was extremely proud of myself. I made this statement without any internal judgements or critcisms when I created this statement. I didn't think, while I was creating this statment, "What is Mark gonna think of me if I told him the way I felt about this project?' Rather, I just freely told Mark my thoughts in its purest form.

My statement was the truest part of who I was at the time and the way I felt about the project. I was happy.

Now, Mark did defend himself, and I listened to every point he had to make against my assertions, and I'm fine with that. We grew from this discussion, and he did agree that an open-ended date of completion was not fiscally responsible.

Notwithstanding the heated and defensive conversation we had, I was proud that I created my statement withouth internal filters during my creative process flow. It was tough, but this glimpse of freedom was an important step for me, and another way that my communications abilities are growing.

Deconstruction: Stage 1

2011-12-30T10:57:00.000-08:00

Goal: Create a product that is the result of my own pure free-flowing unfiltered creativity.
Objective: To freely create without self-judgement and self-criticism during the creative process and flow.
Mantra: Break The Rules.

BACKGROUND:
In 2007, I retired from Corporate America, and I felt great. It was a sense of freedom from the chains that bound me to being a corporate drone. As a drone, I had to speak a certain way, which the drones on the upper end of the corporate ladder called, Political Correctness or Diversity Sensitivity or some other crap like that; I had to dress a certain way; I had to hide my interests; and, I had to smile and laugh at my boss-drone's stupid and not-so-funny dumb-ass jokes -- thank goodness he lived in Colorado Springs because if he lived in San Francisco, I would have driven to his office and pimp-slapped the shit out of him.

All this in order to keep my promotions and salary increases on track. After all, if your boss-drone found out you were sporting around in a bright red Ferrari Spyder, and he was driving in a Mazda, don't you think he might not be so gracious to you when a promotion or a raise came up?

After I retired, I traveled; I gave up being politically correct; I gave up living a fake and constrained life as a result of working in Corporate America -- essentially, I gave up living a lie. For you gay people reading this, I have a little bit of an understanding of the stress and unhappiness of hiding your true identity in order to fit in -- I feel sorry for you if you're still in the closet -- not being able to be yourself must be really tough -- major drag.

After traveling and enjoying the development process of my new true identity, I followed my life's passion as an actor...this was a splash of cold water in my face.

Why?

Well, I worked for Corporate America for over 26 years...within that time, I hate to admit that Corporate America conditioned me to think and behave a certain way, which stiffled my creativity as an actor and artist -- more critical, it stiffled me as a unique individual...while I might have been physically free from the hands of Corporate America, I was still mentally controlled by the 26 years of corporate conditioning.

Let me give you some background on this...I was born an artist...an actor, but I had to live a life of being a Corporate America Executive Drone, which meant, I had to think and act the part of a Corporate America Executive Drone; and, unfortunately, a creative and unique perspective way of doing things did not fall within the four corners of the Standard And Practices Manual that I, as a drone, had follow on a day-to-day basis. I had to regain my mental, spiritual, and creative freedom.

One of my beliefs, as an artist, is that I must create -- freely create without fear of internal judgement, internal criticism, or any of that internal stuff that dictate the way I create something. Sure, after I created my product, I expected critcism and external input of my creation from others, but the actual creative flow and process, for me, had to be free and unfiltered. I found that my creative flow and process were filtered, and I judged and criticized my flow and process while creating my product -- that was the result of my corporate conditioning...for me, this was not the best place to be; so, I had to figure out a solution to get out of this corporate mind-set that impeded my true unfiltered creative process, flow, and identity.

One of the things I had to do was to get rid of my FaceBook account. Unfortunately, FaceBook was not the Free Range vitual playground FaceBook touted to be. Most account users have a FaceBook profile in order to network themselves to increase their business segments, get clients, get a job, or to engage in other business-oriented activities. Many studies and documentaries show potential job candidates ended up not getting a job because of their FaceBook profiles.

FaceBook was not a good place for me because it was nothing more than a social network for Corporate America. Users were not free to create a comment or status update that truly reflected the way they felt because their boss-drone was also on their FaceBook Friend's List.

I found FaceBook to be an extension of Corporate America -- a crab bucket of which I left, and I sure as hell did not want to return -- so, I ended my friendship with FaceBook, and I won't be one of their statistics that shows a re-activated account.

The next thing I did was to hang-out with people that were similar to me in their lifestyles but different in the way they viewed the world and their experiences. I found these people in FOG, which stands for Ferrari Owners Group. Most of the members of FOG are self-employed, retired, entreprenuers, don't need to work, artists, and free-thinking people. Of course, some members of FOG work in Corporate America; however, they don't believe their job titles define their true identity, and they are very much creative and free-thinkers -- I think this has to do with the fact that they own a Ferrari, but that's a different thesis for a different BLOG -- bottom line is that FOG fits me extremely well and helped kill the corporate conditioning that I experienced for 26 years or so.

20-December-2011, while haning out with two of my FOG pilotis, I learned that one of them graduated from USC Film School, and he mentioned that I had to Break The Rules, which was one of the first things he learned as a film student at USC. When he spoke of Breaking The Rules, the light bulb flashed on, and that was the key I needed to unlock the corporate conditioning that bound me to being just another drone in civilization. Why would I want to be the same as everyone else, when I was born as a unique individual?

I NEED MY UNIQUENESS, and I NEED TO BE DIFFERENT.

So, this is my first step towards effectuating my Objectives and Goals during my deconstructive process -- Break The Rules!